Mother- Where are you going , Subhash?
Subhash- what happened , mom.. I have holiday today.. I am going to park with Vibha ..
Mother- Ok..going with bahu..at what time you will come
Subhash- do not know maaa..may be in the evening…Wemay go to meet Vibha’s mom as she is calling us long back..
Mother- But..beta.. I have continuous pain in my legs from last 4 months..not able to move my legs..and its affecting my other limbs too.Pain is growing day by day.. I have asked you many times to show me to doctor..
Subhash- Mom, I got pain killers last month..have them..
Subhash went away.
Mother started crying..Now she was alone at home..as Subhash went outside with his wife. She did not know from where to seek help..Though she had five children. But rest of the four were daughters and all were married. Suddenly, she got call from her daughter.
Daughter- Hi Maa, How are you
Maa- Absolutely fine
Daughter- Mom.. why are you crying..is there some issue..what happened
When her daughter asked many times, she told that though, she is ill, nobody is taking her to doctor. Then her daughter asked her to come at her home and stay there for some days. After some time, she may go back. But Mother denied as our religion and society does not allow parents to stay at daughter’s home after her marriage.
She denied saying that “What will people say?”What will your in laws say” and after death, I will have to go to hell as our religion does not allow to use daughter’s money…
After saying this..she cut the call..and silenced herself.
In fact, this is the truth of our society. This is one of the major reason that elderly abuse is increasing in our society. Though people are not discriminating between girl child and boy child. They are educating both of them in the same school, Now, when girls are bornin the family, parents celebrate and distribute sweets among relatives. They celebrate their daughters birthday too every year, they send them to good schools and tuitions.They send them to abroad too for further studies. They allow them to wear what they want, choose their career as per their choice, now accepting grooms of their daugherschoices too. They are marrying their daughters not at small age but when they complete their studies and ready to marry someone.
But things, suddenly change after marriage. Their daughter becomes “Prayadhan“ for them. Now, they will not drink even a glass of water at their daughter’s home. It is sin as per our religion. In such cases, when they have no son, then they live alone and when they become weak and not able to work on their own, sometimes they move to paid old age homes or to their relatives home.
This thinking has increased social abuse in the society. Sometimes, their son has to go to abroad with his family. In this situation, they will not shift to her daughter’s home. Sometimes, son does not pay respect and take care of his parents…in that situation too parents live with him and suffer the negligence, mental torture or sometimes physical torture too.
Many a times, parents choose to stay alone at vulnerable age and with a disease that took his life rather than staying at daughter’s marital house whom they love so much. Not only parents but in-laws too should unlearn the patriarchal stereotypes about daughters and daughters-in-law. In many cases, daughtersare financially self dependentbut are hesitant to keep their parents with them because their in laws do not accept their parents.
So, first of all, Parents should educate their girls and make them capable enough to bear her expenses. Girls should be mature enough to keep their parents at their home and parents should also make up their mind to stay with their daughter.Then , elderly social abuse cases could be minimized in the society and this would be real kind of gender equality too.